Ask Sesshoumaru
by Azzi Vile
Summary: CHAPTER 3 FIXED. sorry about that......so NOW you can read the new QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS PAGE, again sorry.........
1. Intro

Ask Sesshoumaru!!!  
  
Azzi: HI ALL  
  
Audience: HI AZZI  
  
Azzi: this is a show called a"Ask Sesshoumaru," it's title is pretty self explanitory, you review questions to me, or e-mail me questions at Artgirl37@hotmail.com, then Sesshoumaru over here......  
  
Sesshoumaru:(thinking)why am I here? What have I done to deserve this, and who are all these people?  
  
Azzi: he's not a happy person but he's going to answer all your questions about stuff, I'm just going to read it to him!!!  
  
Sesshoumaru: I can read you know.....  
  
Azzi: yes.........ANYWAYS PLEASE SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS!!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yes I know this sort of thing has been done before, but the fact of the matter is I ......DON'T........CARE......its my turn for happiness, YOU HAD YOUR FUN!!!!!!! 


	2. Q&A 1

Ask Sesshoumaru  
  
Azzi: my god peoples......I just wrote this and already your breathing down my neck!!  
  
(Sesshoumaru sits patiently on a plush futon chair, along his side stand Jaken and in his lap sits Rin)  
  
Azzi:Ok first question is from Ramen2, and she asks "Fluffy? WILL YOU GO OUT w/ me?" And Sesshoumaru's answer is......  
  
Sesshoumaru: get in line with the rest of them, your not the only one.......  
  
Azzi: awwwwwww......so heartless, but he's a cutie ^_^, don't sweat it Ramen2, I'm number 2,384.....(sigh)......yeah........  
  
Rin:(claps hands) haha...this is fun.....  
  
Azzi: NEXT QUESTION......is from ReinaQueen, and she asks "Why do you want Inuyasha's sword so much?"  
  
Sesshoumaru: because I, Sesshoumaru, am its rightful owner. But father left it for Inuyasha, my brother knows not what this sword is capable of.....  
  
Azzi:hey Rin! do you want a cookie?  
  
Rin:YEAH!!!! ^_^  
  
(Azzi gives Rin a cookie, she happily munches on it while dropping crumbs all over Sesshoumaru's clothing)  
  
Jaken: GAK!!!!  
  
Azzi: this ones from Quatre the Kitsune and s/he says "My friend told me that the fluffy thing on Sesshoumaru's shoulder is actually his mothers tail. Is that true?" (gasps) OHHH WOW!!!!!!!  
  
Sesshoumaru:..........  
  
Azzi: he doesn't know he got it as a gift and......OW  
  
(Azzi was smacked with a pole)  
  
Sesshoumaru: .....its my tail....  
  
Azzi: (rubs her head) Kyo-Terayashi writes "KONNICH-WA FLUFFY-CHAN! here is my question!  
  
do you like Fluffy or Sesshy? and can you sign my Sessy plushie? PLEASE? ^-^"  
  
Sesshoumaru: I like neither of those names, you shall address me by the name I was given and as for 'signing your doll'......They make dolls in my likeness?  
  
Azzi: YES (hugs several and the same time) here Rin......  
  
Rin:(grabs doll and hugs it) YAY Sesshoumaru always stays with Rin..... (squeezes it so hard its eyes pop out) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Azzi: Let her have your signature on her little buddy!!!  
  
Sesshoumaru: mmmmmmmm............  
  
(Kyo-Terayashi comes down from the audience and has Sesshoumaru sign her doll)  
  
Kyo-Terayashi : YAY!!!!!!!! (runs back up to her seat with he doll in her lap)  
  
Azzi: Next is from Divine-Heart...( goes up into the audience to where she sits)  
  
Divine-heart:I have a question for Sesshomaru (duh!) lol. My question for him is, Why is he  
  
so damn sexy!? Isn't he suppose to be the bad guy? In other words, **Holds up a large sign** I LOVE YOU SESSHY! WOOHOO!  
  
Sesshoumaru:yes yes everyone loves me all of a sudden, the answer to your question is simple, I am sexy, because you people wanted me to be, and no I am not a "bad guy" nor am I a "good guy" I am what they call a "Neutral" I work for neither side......  
  
Azzi:Fire Kitty asks a number of questions "1. MARRY ME FLUFFY! onegai(please)?" not much of a question "2. Would you ever marry a 3/4 cat demon(a.k.a. me!)?  
  
3. Why did you bring back Rin from the dead?  
  
4. If no to #1 and #2, can I tie you up and lock you in me closet for me own  
  
selfish purposes?"  
  
Sesshoumaru:1.)no 2.)no 3.)my sword wished for me to do so 4.)Do you really think I'll agree to that?  
  
Azzi: you can't steal him just yet, he needs to answer more questions....  
  
Rin:ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz  
  
Azzi:aaaawwwwwww.....sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh........... next question is from RC() I have to keep some of it out but you may look at the reviews to see what it says fully, anyways she asks "What is your TRUE hair color!?"  
  
Sesshoumaru: ,y ahir has always been this color.....  
  
Azzi: also her 'evil' cousin asks "Do you know if Miroku-kun is still vacant!?"  
  
Sesshoumaru:do you really need an answer for that......-_-'  
  
Azzi: and finally, Watergoddesskasey has numerous questions for you to answer, "1. i LOVE you! Will you marry me? If not i will hunt you down tear out your small intestine and shove it up your (#$#%#%$#%censured)  
  
2. how will you explain the ways of sex to Rin with out seriously truamtizing and scaring her for life?  
  
3. whats your favorite breed of dog please explain why?  
  
4. if you could say one sentance to the entire world what would it be?  
  
5. boxers or breifs or none?  
  
6. my cocker spaniel has a crush on you and i keep telling her your a DOG DEMON not a dog but she wont listen can you break it gently to her? her name is nicky...  
  
7. Cheerleaders scare me and so do clowns do they frighten you?  
  
8. are you a VIRGIN?  
  
9. did you know that it's me that hides under your bed at night and draws on your face with a Sharpy marker?  
  
10. whats your favorite anime?  
  
11. whats your favorite childhood memory?  
  
Sesshoumaru: O.o  
  
Azzi: answer them ALL!!!! hehehe (takes Rin out of Sesshoumaru's arms and rocks her back and forth)I don't like children but this I will make an exception......  
  
Sesshoumaru: 1.) no...2.)we're suppose to do that with human children? 3.) I have none, and why would I care 4.)I suggest you humans sleep with one eye open 5.)what are these boxers and briefs 6.).......7.)again, what are these thing? 8.)Virgin? Me? hah....9.) and all this time I thought is was Rin......you will die in a house fire when I find you.....10.)??? 11.).........when I....ate my first demon  
  
Azzi: and I bet he tasted scrum-diddily-umcious huh?  
  
Sesshoumaru:~_~'  
  
Azzi: and thats all the time we have for today, keep asking those questions people!! 


	3. Q&A 2

Ask Sesshoumaru  
  
Azzi: ok lets get something straight, please for the love of God, ONE QUESTION AT A TIME, I don't have time to write this out because its just to much, and then after I'm done, theres 500 questions that also need answer so please one at a time.  
  
Sesshoumaru: she has plenty of time, its just that shes lazy, now I, Sesshoumaru, am not lazy like this human....  
  
Azzi: yeah....I bet......  
  
Rin: is Lord Sesshoumaru gonna fight with Azzi again?  
  
Jaken: Lord Sesshoumaru is to busy to fight with a human!  
  
Azzi:(scowls) First....question.....SP777, and the question is 'Sesshoumaru, does it ANNOY you when people call your fur pelt...a tail?!? I mean, it's not even attached to your..uh.. butt.'  
  
Sesshoumaru: well....it was at one point in time.....  
  
Azzi: its a funny story I'll tell it you at the end ok?  
  
Rin: story, yay!!  
  
Azzi: next is from Pudintain? hmmmm..... and the question is 'WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL personally I dont think you do(ive gottin used to anime) but every one else I know does.  
  
plse dont hurt me *hides in big metal box*o.O;'  
  
Sesshoumaru: one, that metal box won't save you, and two, I resemble nothing of that of a female, kill those people for me......  
  
Azzi: nice, NEXT.....animefreak4021 and the question is 'why do you hate humans so much? WHAT DID WE EVER DO TO YOU! And did you ever fall in love with someone?'  
  
Sesshoumaru:I, Sesshoumaru hate human because they hate us, and I have no time for this "love" buisiness  
  
Azzi: yup, we kind of all figured that out, haven't we?  
  
Audience: (pouts) yes.......  
  
Azzi: Lil'Lyn713 writes 'how would you like to go out with Rin's mom? (i have a fanfiction  
  
about that ^_^) Question 2: How the hell do you get your like hair that?!  
  
Sesshoumaru: I don't see how I could....shes dead, and the answer to your other question, I'm just perfect.....  
  
Azzi:. . . . .sigh. . . . .asks '1.Why do you bother with Jaken? Kill him! Pratically 90% of the all authors think he"s gay!Which he most likely is! 2.Have you adopted Rin? Or does she just follow you around?  
  
Jaken: WHAAAA.........!!!!!!!  
  
Azzi: NOOOOO...........(hugs onto Jaken)you poor little thang......I take care of you, no way are you gonna get beat up by those awful 90% authors, HE NOT GAY HE NOT GAY!!!!!!!  
  
Sesshoumaru: every great leader needs some one to make them look better, and as for Rin, she follows me around, but......  
  
Azzi:(squeezes Jaken) I'm gonna love him, and bathe him, and pit him, and pat him, and.......  
  
Jaken: KILL ME!!!! KILL ME NOW!!!!!!!!  
  
Azzi: its Quatre the Kitsune, the question is 'Did Rin ever use your tail (or your mom's tail. Whatever.) like a pillow and blanket?'  
  
Sesshoumaru: yes....every night when she sleeps.......  
  
Audience: AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Sesshoumaru: DAMN YOU  
  
(Sesshoumaru does his little whip dance and kills the audience)  
  
Azzi:(underneath a coffe table) that was so kool!!!! Next question is from Kyo-Terayashi 'how much do you think Kagome loves Inuyasha?   
  
do you love Kagome?  
  
do you love Kikyo?  
  
do you love Azzi?  
  
do you hate Inuyasha and to what extent?'  
  
Sesshoumaru: I would think alot, no, no, NO, and since I just learned that the earth is round, I suppose the ends of the earth now have no limit, So I suppose my hatred for Inuyasha also has no limit......  
  
Azzi:(sparks fly from head) ow........  
  
Rin: hey.....  
  
(Rin grabs question cards from Azzi)  
  
Rin: Next is from gryphonlady and she asks 'do your chase squirrels and or cats?"  
  
Sesshoumaru: No of course not, thats preposturous...  
  
Azzi: yeah but I bet you did at some point....ow.......  
  
Rin: hehehe....next question is from chibi Nataly and she asks, 'hey. don't you think it's annoying how everyone says: oh sesshy you are so hot please marry me! i thought so. anyway all i want to know is would you have/or would like to fall in love in the show? ya okay thats my question. oh for the record yeah your mega hot'  
  
Azzi: shes good at this......  
  
Sesshoumaru: no I'm fine with the way things are now, wait.....show?  
  
Rin: this one from Divine-Heart,  
  
Azzi: she makes this all too cute ^_^  
  
Rin: she asks 'So Sesshy, can I huggle you? If you let me, I'll give you the tetsusaiga from  
  
your brother. And If you're wondering how, I have connections, lol! One more  
  
question you steamy hot stud: If there was any point in your life that you've  
  
fallen in love with a human girl, what will you do to claim her? **Wink-wink**'  
  
Azzi: ACKK, ok sweety I think its time I start reading again.....  
  
Rin: okay....(rins back into Sesshoumarus lap)  
  
Sesshoumaru: no, and If I can't get the tesusaiga, neither can your "connections", this won't happen and quite winking at me, its disconcerting.....  
  
Azzi:Princess-Anime writes '1.) How come you're full demon and Inuyasha's not?  
  
2.) Who did you lose your virginity to?3.) Have you, or will you ever, have sex DOGGY   
  
style? If yes, will you ever do it with a guy?'  
  
Sesshoumaru: inuyasha's mother was a human, thats none of your buisiness, again thats doesn't concern you, an no......thats disgusting......  
  
Azzi: guess he's getting a little cranky with these personal questions huh?  
  
Sesshoumaru: hhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm...........  
  
Azzi: this one from Yoko-Komai and she writes 'What do you think about your brother? Please be honest...he's a disgusting  
  
necrophiliac if you ask me.   
  
What do you think about trading Jaken to Naraku for Kagura? She's probably  
  
better with kids!   
  
Is Naraku gay?  
  
Are you gay?  
  
Would you prove your not, or you are?   
  
Well, my brother is yelling, bye!'  
  
Sesshoumaru:I would happen to agree there, he is starting to worry me with this "loving a dead girl" buisiness, it becoming a discrace to the family.  
  
Azzi:(plays with paddle ball) 1,346....1347.........  
  
Seshsoumaru:hmmmm.......thats a pretty good idea, but I think Azzi is taking care of it,I would think not.....although.....,no, I am not! I need not to prove myself, my words should be enough.  
  
Azzi: ReinaQueen asks 'Why do you put up with Jaken? What is your favorite  
  
color? How tall are you? What's your middle name? Did you adopt Rin? How old are  
  
you in both human and demon years? Do you really hate humans so much? Are you  
  
racist against humans? Do you wear eyeshadow or is that natural?'  
  
Sesshoumaru:I still don't know to this day, red, your world confuses me with "measurments", middle name? yes, over a hundred and there is no demon years, yes, racist? Natural, of course.....  
  
Azzi: those questions make my head hurt....  
  
Rin: these people are confusing....  
  
Jaken: yes.....very......  
  
Azzi:here's Fire Kitty, and she asks '1. O.O WHAT?!?! you won't marry me?! but i said please! *tear* please fluffy? please please please? PLEASE? 2. please fluffy? may i call you fluffy? oh well if you say no... 3. what do you think of the nickname sesshymaru? or fluff-chan? or sess-chan? 4. can you give rin a hug for me?  
  
Sesshoumaru: you'll get over it, no, you WILL address me by my name Sesshoumaru, I suppose so........  
  
Rin: Yippie  
  
(Rin runs up and give Sesshoumaru a biiiiiiig hug)  
  
Azzi: ain't it cute....NEXT  
  
Annoymous:(runs down to ware sesshy sits) (shows him cute inocent bunny every awwwww's...takes hand and impales bunny ripes out intestines and shoves it down bunnys thoart) i now where you live sesshoumaru and i know what you did last summer two words ..pink thongs.....oh yes i have pictures many many pictures!!!!!! Oh while im here im grandma made you this!!! (takes out yummy butterscotch pie) why doesnt she make me pie! T.T'' And this is for you RIN! (Hands fluffy white puppy) his name is mr. picklesworth and if you say the word bannana he will go into insane rage and tear anyrhing green or yellow apart...good for killing toads who are retards whitch i like to disect in science....   
  
Azzi: I'm soory If I didn't remember your name its just I don't remember , please if you send an E-mail, put your username at the bottom,  
  
Sesshoumaru: are we done?  
  
Azzi: yep....  
  
Rin: See ya next time!!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
EXTRA:  
  
Azzi: as I said before I will tell you the story as to how Sesshoumaru's tail was dislocated from his rear;  
  
Apparently when Inuyasha was very teeny tiny, he was playing with a blade he found in the kitchen area, and took it over to Sesshoumaru, and CRACK, off pops sessies tail....  
  
THATS why they have sibling rivalry to this very day.  
  
the end....for now 


End file.
